Happy Birthday Chloe!

Dear Chloe,

It's hard for me to comprehend how it's already been a year since you were born. In some ways, this year has flown by. In other ways, it seemed endless. In both ways, I'm so happy that you were here to share it with me.

Last night, you were up late with a bad cold and cough. As I held you trying to comfort you and get you to sleep, I realized that at exactly the same time one year ago, I was holding you in the same way the night after you were born. You slept for six hours that first night on my chest. I laid awake most of the night sweating, body parts falling asleep, needing to use the bathroom, but refusing to move because I couldn't be happier holding you. Those were some of the best moments of my life. And as I held you last night, I marveled at how your movements are much the same, but your arms now hang off my sides, your head doesn't fit quite under my chin anymore, and your legs don't curl up quite like they did then. You've grown so much in the last year, but you'll always be my baby girl.

I saw "baby" loosly of course. You kinda gave up being a baby around four months. You've reached every single one of your milestones early, some ridiculously early. I didn't get much of a lay-your-baby-down-and-she-won't-crawl-away stage. But that's okay. You've kept me on my toes, most often running after you and amazing whatever audience you might have at the time. You've been walking for a while now. You're already really steady. You're also one heck of a climber.

Your personality also amazes me. For the first few months, you had me fooled that you were an easy going baby. Easy going you are not. You're very opinionated and like to let your needs be known. If I have the nerve to take something away from you, you'll look at me harshly, scream, throw yourself down and roll around in agony until you get over it. I honestly don't remember Noah being like that at this age. It kinda scares me to be honest. Let's hope it doesn't get much worse! I'll work on channeling that stubbornness in the right way. It's a good trait to have if you use it right.

Your language skills are coming right along. You knew how to sign the words "more", "please", and "all done" by ten months. You can also say many words, cat being one of your favorites. I'm fascinated at your nonverbal skills even more, though. We never taught you how to shake your head yes or no yet you got it down by eleven months. You're so perceptive. But then again, they say girls are better at nonverbal language!

You and Noah are becoming great playmates. I love to watch you two play! Noah treats you as an equal, not a baby. And you live up to the roll. Most of the time you play along with his things. Tools, cars, crashing, fighting monsters, and other little boy games. But you've also developed a love for dolls and furry animals. You've got a very girly streak in you!

A few days ago, you began to refuse any more baby food, and that was that. You're now completely on "real" food. But you sure do love your bottle still. When you went to the doctor at 10 months, you had only gained 6 ounces in 4 months. I had to start giving you bottles as well as breast milk. For the first few days you hated it. Now I can pry a bottle out of your hands! I've kept breastfeeding you as well, but you're not very interested in it. I think you like the fast flow of the bottles. Now that we've reached a year, I think we're both ready to move on to the next stage.

Oh, Chloe, do we really have to move on to any stage? Can't we stay like this? All the cuddles, the dancing, the laughing, the wonder and excitement of this age? I'm happy that you're one today. I'm happy of all you've learned and how you've grown this year. But I have to admit, part of my heart is breaking for the loss of your babyhood. There were some very hard times, but I cherish it all knowing that we'll never get these days back together.

I can't wait to see what year #2 holds for you. I wonder how your interests will develop, how your personality will continue to blossom, how you'll learn, grow and become a preschooler. Just do me one little favor, though. No matter how old you get, will you still always come to me when I hold out my arms? I just couldn't bear to ever let that go, no matter how old you get.

I love you dearly,
Mommy



***For Chloe's birthday, she got that talking doll I told you about. I'll let the pictures tell you if she liked it. We also had an improptu trip to Chuck E Cheese which was a hit!***